My own relationship journey has inspired me to undertake a very personal study of what it really takes to achieve genuine intimacy. It is such a foundational human longing - the desire for connection and companionship- that it appears on the radar screen often whenever we set our hopes on a fulfilling lifestyle.

We live in a world where loneliness runs rampant and has been identified as the most dominant social problem in America today. The longing for real connection with another human being can keep us from fulfilling our potentials and giving our gifts to the world.

Since childhood I've carried around the false belief that I am responsible for what other people feel. It hasn't been a conscious belief. I know better! But it has been a sneaky undercurrent of thinking that kept surfacing in my intimate relationships, affecting my behavior and causing me pain.

We learn many things growing up - some of them are useful, and some get us into messes we can't figure out. For many of us, the journey to healthy loving relationships started out upside down and backwards.